The Subway Way

By Lindsey Knapp

Do you want to experience new things?  How would you like to expand your insight into human habits and different ways of life?  Would you like to do all this for only $2.25?

Come to New York!  Get on the subway at rush hour!  It’s a fascinating idea, playing Sardines with complete strangers.  You’ll be a part of the action—this never-ending game of How-Many-People-Can-We-Fit-Into-One-Subway-Car?  The ceiling’s the limit!  If you can see the floor there’s still room!  It’s a race against time to see how many will fit in before the doors close.

Come!  Stay with the Knapps!  Your trip will only cost you $2.25 (airfare, food, taxi fares, spare change, and the money you will blow off at the souvenir shop not included, price for one person only.)  You’ll experience a whole different aspect of city life, one that thousands of people do every day.  You could be one of them! *Offer not valid in Czechoslovakia 

Yes, I’m kidding.  Please don’t be calling me up anytime soon to ask if you can come to New York and ride the subway...we’d love for you to come but certainly not for that reason.

Riding the subway, at any time, can invite discomfort, yet also provide an interesting perspective.  About 5.2 million people ride the subway, in all of New York City, every weekday.  That’s all kinds of people, and I’ll admit, it’s not always a fun thing to do.  Often there’s a conversation going on beside me that I’d rather not have to listen to, or someone’s iPod is blaring loudly enough for the whole world to hear, or I’m sitting beside someone I’d rather not sit beside.  It’s not the cleanest of environments, and there are often near one hundred people within that one car; so I understand when someone objects to the public-ness of it, or if someone doesn’t like things used by a lot of people.  These are two prevalent aspects of city life, and you get used to them.

The subway is a great place to study people, and why we do what we do; and also, occasionally, to laugh.  Funny first: the other day I heard the story of a friend of a friend: this guy gets on the subway like any other day, and promptly sits down next to Princess Leia.  Seriously.  Princess Leia, in full costume.  At the next stop, two Stormtroopers get on and grab her.  Next stop?  Darth Vader.  What a crazy place this is!

A couple days ago we caught the subway to go downtown, and a few stops down our ride a man came on the subway car with a guitar of some kind.  At first, when he announced that he was going to sing a song for “The lady in the orange coat, who has nice legs,” I mostly wrote him off.  Just some guy trying to make a little money.  But he was truly hilarious!  He started singing his own, personalized version of “My Girl,” and pretty soon everyone in the subway car was laughing and singing along.  How often does that happen?!  He then went on to crack some jokes that were actually funny and sang two more songs, for “The lady in the white coat” and “The man in the glasses.” Afterward he walked up and down the car gathering donations.  “I have three kids at home and they all need iPods.  I will take cash, Yankees caps, iPods, or foreign money.” This is not what your typical guy would say.  I loved it because it was such a different subway ride than what we usually take; and the laughing united the people in that subway car, even for only ten minutes.

The subway, which so many New Yorkers use every day, levels the playing field.  Everyone who steps through those doors, whether CEO or homeless man, is subject to the conditions and the rules of that subway car.  If it’s ten minutes between trains, everyone must stand on the platform and wait.  If the train is held up between stations (which happens all the time, to hear New Yorkers talk), then everyone on that train is held up and has no other option than to wait.  It doesn’t matter if you have friends in high places or no friends at all.

So the next time you’re on a subway train, look around.  Many books could be written about that train.

Settling In

By Tim Knapp

What a sight...4 Knapps; 14 pieces of luggage. As we stood atop our mountain of suit cases we only hoped we could get them all in one vehicle. It would require a van-taxi, which luckily, are plentiful here in NYC. We managed. But of course, the driver barely spoke enough broken English for me to understand him trying to tell me via cellphone where he had pulled up.

After 10 minutes of carting luggage across the busiest street at LaGuardia, we finally got everything loaded. Barely had room for all the girls! After an interesting 20 minute ride through the city to our apartment, and getting a fair history lesson on Russian politics, the Uzbekistan driver unloaded us in front of our building 839 West End Avenue.

We slept the first couple of nights on mattresses on the floor with make-shift covers, since our bedding hadn't yet arrived via mail, and we only had one actual mattress and an inflatable. But thanks to the internet and Craig's List, we soon made several furniture acquisitions, making our place a bit more comfy.

There's nothing like Craig's List in NYC! Hundreds of listings for furniture, housewares, etc., appearing daily...and all only a few minute's commute away. A couple million people within such a small area, of which probably 95% don't have a vehicle, present a lot of opportunities for furnishings that are either free or very much on the cheap. Many simply say, come and get it; others sell at vastly discounted prices, since if it doesn't sell they have to leave it anyway. Problem is, though, you either have to carry it or hire a "man with a van" to help you. And that's what we did. My friend Dave (a 26 year old from Michigan who, along with his wife Crystal, became our first NYC friends back in October) and another friend, Young Hoon from Korea, helped me go pick up a mattress for Beth's bed. When's the last time you saw 3 guys walking down the street with a mattress on their heads? And then we went to an apartment to pick up another free item, but this time a sofa sleeper a family couldn't take with them. I called on a guy with a van from Brooklyn who had helped me with a few items back in October. Carrying a sleeper down tight stairways ain't exactly easy no matter how many hands you have! And then last night, as I decided to do a quick check on items listed on the upper west side of Manhattan (our area) I found a much needed desk only 5 blocks down the street. After a quick offer and deal, I headed out to seal the transaction. Pretty simple, really; hello, here's the cash, give me the desk. And off I went, carrying a desk on my shoulders up West End Avenue back to my building. I managed to get it into the building, up the stairs, and into the apartment without waking a soul. Mission accomplished. And all by 1:30 am.

Since arriving Tuesday, Lindsey has gone skiing, Beth's been out with a friend for Ben & Jerry's ice cream, we've enjoyed at least three meals with company in our new apartment, and been out to other family's places a couple of times as well. We've been amazed at what God has gone before us and done; so many neat relationships already in place, so many friends eager to help and know our story. We truly feel at home and that we're a part of this community. And then to attend church--we did two services today--and meet so many who are so willing to help in any way possible. It reminds us how vital Christian community is and what a difference it makes to be a part of it.

And while I'm on the topic of Community...what a blessing it has been over the nights we've been here to sit together last thing before bed and read the cards from the church back home. What a lift we've received from our friends. We are so thankful for the considerate time taken by so many to encourage us and send us off with their blessing.

Winding Down

By Tim Knapp

As the time winds down for our departure to the city, my mind whirls with the questions, thoughts, and wonders of a life completely changing. So many questions. Some my own...yet without uneasiness; others are the questions of so many, so perplexed about our move.

My questions have more to do with curiosity about what life will come to look like in the near future and what God is up to. Or with what amazing things we'll experience over the next few months, which I'm sure will be life-changing. But other questions I ponder are from others. The other day a friend of mine who's on his way to Africa as a new missionary honestly looked me in the eye and said, "I just don't get it. New York City. Why would anyone want to go there?" You know, I understand when someone can't get a grasp on our thinking who does Sunday church out of habit...and claims a faith mostly relegated to those Sundays...because it just doesn't make sense to them. But my friend going to Africa, yet thinking me crazy, just made me laugh.

I must admit one of the early battles we had to face so many (mostly Christian friends) saying, "Whaaaat? Are you kidding me? New York City?" It's not that we needed the affirmation to be sure we were on the right track, please understand. We knew what this move would mean...to us, our kids, our parents, and friends. That we are gone. No longer here. Moving means leaving, no matter where you're going, or why. The problem is, so many of us have this concept of what is a "good place" to live. And so many have their concept of what's not. And for the most part, most of us don't approach our lives as ministry or missional. So we didn't expect everyone to say "Praise God. Tim and Suzy are heading to the mission field."

But as we approach the departure date, to be honest, we are incredibly excited about living in the city. We have less than a week left before leaving. And if you know me...well, that doesn't seem possible; I've never been a "city boy". But having spent a good deal of time there, we know that the city will place certain "strains" on us that will push us together and actually be very good for our family. Everything we do will be together. We won't have a vehicle. That means we'll walk and ride trains/buses everywhere together. And that means lots of face time...and shared suffering, which is good for a group. We won't spend any time driving all over the county or town to all the various events that every different kid is involved in. I've come to believe that perhaps what makes a place a good place to raise kids just might be the place which best equips them for life out in the world in which they'll live. They're understanding of how their faith is intertwined with their daily lives and the world in which they live is hugely important.

Though we view living in the city positive, for the most part, this city life will present far more challenges. Challenges that cause you to view life differently. Challenges that cause you to want to do something differently, because every time you go outside you see things. Things that remind you that so many others have a life far from yours; that things aren't so good for many.

Challenges that will cause us to rethink our Gospel; yet perhaps to be changed by it. To know it's not about being good Christians...we're not good Christians and won't be. Or at least by the standards set before us. Being in the city...tripping over despair and poverty constantly serves to remind you that no matter what you do, you can never do enough. You can't be good enough, give enough, serve enough. And the more one realizes this, if it drives you into Jesus and His love for you...(instead of toward a greater burden to just do more) then it brings incredible zeal for life and a burning desire to help those God places in your path. I've experienced this recently, and I'm hungrier than ever for it.

There are plenty of needs unmet here in our own community; plenty of ways to be involved in helping others. Though we could always do more--that's part of the dilemma we as Christians must come to terms with or be legalistic, self-condemned workaholics who are anything but joy-filled, world-changing people--for the most part life here is ultra-safe and insulated; and helping people in our community is the norm. Though not everyone does it, it's not unusual here when a good Baptist goes out of his way to do something for someone. Oh, it still counts as a good thing done; and occasionally it causes a non-church going citizen to be moved toward a less negative view of the church or its members.

I realize that many people are really OK with safe and insulated; in fact, that's why many are here. The fact is, life can be brutal, even in a nice, safe, cozy environment. But it really is brutal out there, and that's where the rubber meets the road; where most people live and interact, and where our kids will live soon. I know, I know: It's all the real world. Life can be extremely difficult, or will be, no matter where you live. Yes indeed. But for now, I choose that one and so look forward to being in a place where the line between Christian or non is distinct; where doing something for someone draws looks of suspicion; where hospitality or reaching out to others is largely not done. And a place where needs fly in your face constantly. A place where mine and my kid's faith will be challenged and strengthened daily and on display; a place that's not easy.

I realize that as I write this I''m being extremely me/we focused. I'm looking at the benefits of being in the city, which are many. But I'm thankful this move isn't about us; it's about what's going on in a world we're called to. It's about jumping into the thick of things. It's about being less caught up in my life and walk, and more caught up in others'. It's about what my kids need in order to be difference-making people who live missional lives that center on what God's doing not in their lives, but out there. And out there is where we're called to live. Not everyone can do that; not everyone is called to go. We are all called to live for Jesus and to enjoy constantly a growing realization of how much He loves us...which in turn will cause us to live more intensely for others, no matter where we are. And it will enable us to be freed from the bondage of religion, self-condemnation, and lackadaisical living, which so plagues us in our easy, self-absorbed, living...whether here or there.

Finding a Place

A Week in the City

By Tim Knapp

Wow. I'm again overwhelmed at life in the city. How different; how interesting, how challenging.

I came this week after a couple months of dreading/preparing for an apartment hunt I knew would be difficult and new...it was. Yet, what I prayed for was that God would lead me to the place, neighborhood, apartment that he has in mind for us to live and interact in.

I arrived late Tuesday 2/2/10 after flight delays, to a snowy city as busy and loud and filled with people as ever. My next 2 days were filled with around the clock email, texting, and phoning apt brokers to inquire about apts here in Manhattan. By noon Wed. I had an afternoon full of appointments that lasted into the late evening. I was reminded of the difficulty and challenge of city...real city living. Walking everywhere...taking subway trains, catching a bus, grabbing a taxi, to shorten the cross-town treks. And all in arctic-like, 20-something, windy, chill.

And the people never speak of the weather...I'm constantly aware of the cold, though dressed well for it. The weather's never a topic of conversation here. Too much else to worry about; too cold to talk, period. And yet the streets are full of those hurrying as always to the next appointment, job, or destination...bundled up, looking tired, yet spirited.

These people aren't hard, yet w/o time for small talk. Get to the point; say what you mean, mean what you say. And say it loud and clear. It's somewhat refreshing that what's said is never meaningless. It's always purposeful and with emphasis. Every time. And yet people don't mind talking or doing a quick visit...they appreciate it. Hurried, busy, distracted living doesn't leave much time for visiting--don't we know. And it leaves very few who are willing to try it. Not much is left over for that.

So, dressed well--at least warmly--and fairly new to the routine of all the walking, hurrying, and such, I talk a lot. And mostly, it's well received and returned two-fold. Leads to a lot of interesting conversations. Everyone has a story; every person willing to share has experience to give. And some of the stories are hard to hear...such as from the guy whose been homeless since he lost his job and wife 2 years ago...or from the guy who just got out of the NY State pen 2 days ago, after 18 years...prison ID in hand. We miss so much from those we fail to listen to or hear out.

And so on Thursday morning, I walk into an apt on upper west side Manhattan...between Central Park and Riverside Drive on the Hudson...and God says "This is the one". Yet I didn't hear a voice besides mine. But it was clear. And 24 hrs later and after another 20 apt. viewings....I signed the dreaded dotted line. More interestingly, the owner of the building...a seven story building constructed circa 1900, wanted to meet me before approving the lease. Turns out he owns 9-10 other similar buildings w/50 or so apt's in each one...each building worth millions each...along with vacation properties on other continents. Yet he wants to meet me before approving our lease agreement. Hmmm. Which led to another interesting conversation.

Answered so many questions, and personal, indeed. Which led to me sharing our (other) dream of recent. The one of starting up a "Rivers Edge--NYC"...that all we needed were apt's along Riverside Drive...which he has. And that all we needed was a guy like him whom we will meet some time, who will give us a chance to do that by providing a few apt's and taking a chance on someone like us. He then gave me the keys to the apt...one month in advance of our start up and lease date. God knows what He's up to here...and this is only one small area.

So after only a couple days of serious searching...voila'. We're in. And with plenty of room for visitors who want a first hand NYC experience w/o the hassle and expense. We have a roomy 3BR/2bath only a short walk from Central Park and beside the subway for easy access to all the sights of the city...hint, hint. It's so safe and unusually quiet for big-city. We truly hope many of our friends will take us up on this offer...whether you've ever stayed with us before or not. It's an opportunity that will change your lives, I promise. And in only a few days. Guaranteed.

There's so much I cannot express about what it feels like to be here. I'm a very woodsy, outdoorsy, stay alone, love the quiet, sort of guy...who fakes it well in the crowd...not that I dislike people. And yet I'm drawn here no less than the Rockies have drawn me in the past...to hike in, carry only a bare minimum of food for the week, and weather the elements in search of something that's incredibly hard to bag...yet it's there, and I know it.

So as I ponder my last few days' here alone in the city, I realize I'm hungrier than ever for real life. I've found it here, or it's found me. I won't be the same for it, thank God. And I long to see just what it all means...or what all we're in for. Good or bad, it's more than interesting; it's invigorating. And that's what life should be. Or at least what it was intended to be, praise God.

On Moving to NYC

By Tim Knapp

This was a statement given 11.29.09 to our home church in Octavia on the journey of the past couple years and of our plan to move to NYC.

I’m glad to have the opportunity to share with you all what’s happening with Suzy, me, and the girls. Most of you are aware that we’ve been to NYC recently; in fact we’ve been there twice since August and have spent 5 weeks in the city. Our last trip was a month-long visit, mainly for information-gathering, and gave us the opportunity to experience NY in an extended-stay situation.

Since we’ve announced we’re moving to NY, the main question we get is “Why?” To answer that I feel that I should give a little background. Over the last 5 years or so, God has been taking us through a process that has brought much change. During this time He has been at work on our perspectives, our thinking, and our view of the Gospel. Through numerous ways God has taken us through a growth process that has challenged us and brought us to a place where we long to step out and follow Him in new ways.

For 10 years—since starting our cottage business—we had what I believe was a God-given dream to start a conference/retreat ministry, which as most of you know took the form of the Lodge. 5 years ago we knew we were nearing the start of that project, and as God brought various pieces of the puzzle together, we finally felt ready to go for it. God did some amazing things to make it possible… from supplying the location/land on the river, to helping us find a talented builder, and then supplying the resources to make it happen Many of these pieces came together in miraculous ways.

When the Lodge burned to the ground after 2 years of construction, it was about 85% complete and was an incredible building…or going to be. It appears that the Lodge will be a huge financial loss, if not a complete loss; but as Suzy and I walked away from the site at dawn that morning, we were acutely aware that God was at work. Although the loss was difficult emotionally and devastating financially, we have never felt despair. It was somehow—and by God’s grace only—an exciting experience spiritually. We absolutely knew God’s hand was in the fire, and that He obviously had reasons for closing that door…a door that He had previously made open to us after years of dreaming, waiting, prayer, and planning.

The fire was not the end of the dream; it was merely one part of the process. It was not the cause of us considering a move to NY, it has simply enabled us to look further into what God has for us. Because we knew all along that He was preparing us for something…changing our perspectives, and challenging us to grow closer to Him…we felt sure there was and is something else. The fire didn’t negate/end the process; it was part of it.

Believe it or not, this process God has taken us through has actually brought us much joy.

A sense of joy and freedom we never really knew was possible. As many of you have come to know, this life is full of pain, trial, and suffering. We’ve had a fair amount of that in our lives over the past 10 years…yet not as much as some of you. And one thing’s for sure--there’s more to come.

There was a time when our sense of security and well-being was anchored in things other than Jesus…things like winning ballgames, being productive, or raising good kids, or being super active in church. Those things gave us a sense of self-worth and acceptance. Though we knew our salvation came through grace, we lived as if we needed to continue earning God’s favor. We served out of a sense of duty and obligation, rather than joyful willingness. That kind of life becomes exhausting; and the result is a religious, works-based Christianity that lacks joy.

Before the Lodge fire, Suzy and I believed we knew where our hope and security rested—in Jesus Christ alone. But what we only believed before, we now know by experience. He is our only security and our only hope. If our sense of meaning/purpose rests in something other than Jesus, I think it’s then that pain or loss or suffering results in bitterness, frustration, defeat, and then burnout. When it’s in the right thing—or person—one’s suffering may then produce an unexplainable, unmistakable joy. I think Peter was speaking of this when he said in his first book, 4:12-13:

“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.”

It’s only because of this that we can honestly say it has been a really neat process…

and it continues today. Through these events and experiences we have seen His glory in a new and exciting way…and have been overjoyed as He’s called us to step out and follow Him in new ways. New ways are not always easy, and for sure they’re not always popular.

A couple of different passages in the Bible have had major impact on Suzy and me as we’ve considered God’s plan for us recently; Jeremiah 29:4-7 is one. In this interesting passage, God’s calling on His people was for and to a city. And not just a city, but Babylon.

Babylon was the epitome of what God’s people considered a pagan city. It was the worst of the worst; the most disdained, wicked city of all to the people of Israel. The Babylonians ruled most of the world at this time and they ruled Israel; and as Jeremiah had prophesied, the people of Israel were carried off into exile…to Babylon. In Jer. 29:7-10 God speaks to His people:

“This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it because if it prospers, you too will prosper.”

These verses lead up to the next ones, which we often quote. . . where God then says in 29:11 :

“For I know the plans I have for you…plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

He goes on to tell the people to not be deceived by the prophets and diviners among them; to not listen to them…that they are lying……and mostly, they were telling the people to stay separate and live outside the city; to remain apart from the city. But that was not God’s plan for them at all. He had plans for the city, and plans for them as well.

You see, cities like Babylon—cities like New York, or Chicago, or Seattle—are some of the most important places in the world to God…because they’re full of people. People in vast numbers who have vast needs. Throughout the Bible God’s people have focused on cities; they’re where some of the greatest needs are, where the most people are, and where the Gospel can have the greatest effect. Cities shape the culture and have the greatest potential for shaping the world.

If you’ll remember the story of Jonah, God called Jonah to go to “That great city of Nineveh” to preach. After Jonah’s refusal, getting swallowed by a fish, and then finally following God’s orders and successfully calling Nineveh to repent, Jonah was “…angry enough to die”.

He was angry because he hated the city; he hated those godless, liberal, pagans that lived there. The last thing he wanted was to go there, much less, to see them repent and get God. God’s last statement to Jonah, which ends the book, summed up God’s love for this wicked city:

Jonah 4:11 “You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. But Nineveh has more than 120,000 people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?”

God loved the people of Nineveh and Babylon, just as He loves the people of NY, LA, and New Orleans. And God is at work in these cities.

NYC has a population of around 9 million people.

The NY metropolitan area has over 20 million. It’s the nation’s largest city by far, having more than Chicago, Houston, and LA combined—the next 3 largest cities in the US.

Over 170 different languages are spoken, and over 36% of the population is foreign born.

The part of NYC we’ll be going to is Manhattan, which is 1 of 5 boroughs which comprise NYC.

It has over 1.7 million people living on an island of just 23 sq. mi…

for a population density of 71,000 people per sq. mile—that’s over 100 people/sq.acre.

God is truly at work in NYC. There is a Gospel movement in Manhattan that is having a profound effect on the city. Manhattan’s evangelical Christian population is 6 times larger than it was just 10 years ago. Where there were virtually no evangelical churches at work 20 years ago, there are now more than 30 in Manhattan alone. One church in particular has been the catalyst for this spread of the Gospel in the city…Redeemer Presbyterian. We have already connected with that church and know church staff and are members of a fellowship group.

We plan to continue attending and working through Redeemer when we return.

This one church has been instrumental in supplying resources, training, volunteers, and vision to every other living Christian church in Manhattan.

Suzy and I won’t sell out or move permanently; we won’t break all ties here. This will still be our home church, even if our involvement there requires that we become members of that church. Our plan is to go to New York. During this next year we hope to gain a much better idea of what God has in mind for us. I will possibly pursue a seminary degree and be involved as much as possible in the church and volunteer work in the city.

Our hope and desire is to operate as “extensions” of Octavia Baptist Church; to be on mission as if sent out by this church. We also hope many of you will come to NYC and stay with us.

It will be an opportunity you will have to bring your family to see the many sights of the city, to get in a neat vacation, and even experience ministry work in the city.

Suzy and I and the girls welcome your questions and truly do hope many of you will come visit us in NYC.

Please pray for us—this move will be difficult, challenging, and costly.

God knows we don’t want to move to New York if it’s not the best thing for us, and exactly what He would have us do.

Leaving our families and friends behind will be the toughest part of this move—we want it to be for the best, and for God’s glory alone.