By Tim Knapp
As I walked the streets last night from 7:30 to 10pm, it seemed the longer I was out the busier the streets became. How is it that on a Monday evening the activity seemed to pick up the later it got? It’s nothing new, here. It is not unusual to walk past hundreds--no, thousands--of people dining along the streets on mild evenings at tables outside the myriads of cafes and restaurants, past 10pm. Not here, anyway. After all, this is the city that never sleeps.
A fair portion of those you will see out and about after 10pm on a week night in New York City are tourists. Wild-eyed, excited, exuberant tourists who have come here to take in all they can. Sleeping is something they’re not here to do. But most of these people are not tourists. They’re New Yorkers. And they’ll be up again in the morning and off to work by 7 or 8 am. Back to work. Back to the grind. So what gives?
It’s not that they don’t sleep. They sleep, but not much. There’s simply not enough time for it. Not here, anyway. So many have come to make a name for themselves, to break into their field, to get ahead. Others have come because their high-profile, high-demand position required it. And it comes at a price.
Putting in ten to twelve hours of work per day is not the only requirement for getting ahead. There’s much shoulder-rubbing and networking to be done. One must spend a certain amount of time in the right places with the right people, doing the right things. And even though some have families, it is still what must be done. Or is it?
One might argue that as long as you’re young, why not go for it? Or, it is simply the sacrifice required to be here, make the big bucks, get the big break. Is sleep really that important? Well, yes and no. Some who sleep plenty, never seem to rest. And others who don’t get enough sleep, tend to rest well. So what’s up with that?
It could be that something is going on beneath it all. That perhaps underlying our desire for accomplishment, there’s a deep-seated need to be seen, recognized, or heard. Something that shouts for approval, even disrupting our sleep. How will we ever rest from this continual, nonstop quest for notoriety? Perhaps by realizing our rest is found not by sleeping, not in less work, and not in vacations; it is found in a person. One who said, “Come to me, all you who are weary...and I will give you rest.”
Friday, May 13, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Fourteen Months
By Lindsey Knapp
After fourteen months in this city, what amazes me is no longer simply that I’m here; it’s that I belong here. Sometimes it just amazes me to come home. To turn off Broadway, walk up the tree-lined street, cross West End Avenue, in the front doors, through the lobby, up the stairs, and in our red door. It’s our door now! Our building! Our street! I didn’t have neighbors for the first thirteen years of my life; now, there’s the Jewish family down the hall, the French foreign exchange students who once borrowed a casserole dish, the little girls above us who sometimes sound like they’re studying to become clog dancers. I know my way around the Upper West Side now; Bethany and I have scouted out the best pizza places and we know where the ice cream trucks hang out. Taking the subway, the bus, a taxi, or walking somewhere does not require a map. We have our weekly schedules--I have chorus twice a week, Beth has co-op classes Wednesday mornings, Mom hosts a prayer group once a month, Dad has a mens’ breakfast every so often.
Life certainly looks different here. Homeschooling and working from home means that all four of us are in this apartment for a good bit of every day. That’s mostly a good thing. Sometimes this place feels so small, particularly in spring days when it doesn’t feel like spring. On the other hand, the times that we all go somewhere together aren’t as often; oftentimes, we converge at church from four different places. And each of us having our different activities means that we have less mutual friends. Before telling my Mom a story about what happened today with so-and-so, I first have to explain who so-and-so is and how she might know them. And, to all you friends of my parents’ who have invested in me and loved me during my short life: thank you. I never realized until moving to New York how much the influence and interest of adults has encouraged and grown me. I don’t know all my parents’ friends now, and sometimes it bothers me!
Since coming to this place, I feel a bit like I’ve discovered, or more fully realized, the beauty and the grittiness of life. There is so much beauty in people; you discover this when you live on the same square mile as 60,000 others. People encourage me without even saying a thing; the woman walking past wearing an awesome melon pink coat, the girl crossing the street who looks contently happy about something, the children playing in a sprinkler below my windows, the baby who looks like a small dumpling. And the grittiness. Living on the same square mile as 60,000 others also means you have to deal with their humanness. Our kitchen ceiling is much worse for wear because of a running--and running, and running--faucet in the kitchen above us. And people are ugly. Walking past two grown men yelling at each other on the street is not particularly pleasant.
So. Life is good. Life is very busy. Mostly I feel very thankful for where God has put me; for the passions he’s given me. There is much to muse about on a Sunday evening.
After fourteen months in this city, what amazes me is no longer simply that I’m here; it’s that I belong here. Sometimes it just amazes me to come home. To turn off Broadway, walk up the tree-lined street, cross West End Avenue, in the front doors, through the lobby, up the stairs, and in our red door. It’s our door now! Our building! Our street! I didn’t have neighbors for the first thirteen years of my life; now, there’s the Jewish family down the hall, the French foreign exchange students who once borrowed a casserole dish, the little girls above us who sometimes sound like they’re studying to become clog dancers. I know my way around the Upper West Side now; Bethany and I have scouted out the best pizza places and we know where the ice cream trucks hang out. Taking the subway, the bus, a taxi, or walking somewhere does not require a map. We have our weekly schedules--I have chorus twice a week, Beth has co-op classes Wednesday mornings, Mom hosts a prayer group once a month, Dad has a mens’ breakfast every so often.
Life certainly looks different here. Homeschooling and working from home means that all four of us are in this apartment for a good bit of every day. That’s mostly a good thing. Sometimes this place feels so small, particularly in spring days when it doesn’t feel like spring. On the other hand, the times that we all go somewhere together aren’t as often; oftentimes, we converge at church from four different places. And each of us having our different activities means that we have less mutual friends. Before telling my Mom a story about what happened today with so-and-so, I first have to explain who so-and-so is and how she might know them. And, to all you friends of my parents’ who have invested in me and loved me during my short life: thank you. I never realized until moving to New York how much the influence and interest of adults has encouraged and grown me. I don’t know all my parents’ friends now, and sometimes it bothers me!
Since coming to this place, I feel a bit like I’ve discovered, or more fully realized, the beauty and the grittiness of life. There is so much beauty in people; you discover this when you live on the same square mile as 60,000 others. People encourage me without even saying a thing; the woman walking past wearing an awesome melon pink coat, the girl crossing the street who looks contently happy about something, the children playing in a sprinkler below my windows, the baby who looks like a small dumpling. And the grittiness. Living on the same square mile as 60,000 others also means you have to deal with their humanness. Our kitchen ceiling is much worse for wear because of a running--and running, and running--faucet in the kitchen above us. And people are ugly. Walking past two grown men yelling at each other on the street is not particularly pleasant.
So. Life is good. Life is very busy. Mostly I feel very thankful for where God has put me; for the passions he’s given me. There is much to muse about on a Sunday evening.
Monday, March 21, 2011
A Year in Manhattan
By Tim Knapp
This month marks a full year for us in the city. Wow. We've been here for that long? In some ways it seemed to have gone by quickly. In other ways, though, it hasn't. We've had to make an amazing amount of adjustments, from the cramped living space, to the incessant noise, to the constant challenge of interaction on all sides. The cost of living is another issue altogether. Just after we moved I saw an article on the cost of living across the US. The lowest cost of living for US cities was none other than Ft. Smith, AR, where we did all our major shopping while in SE Oklahoma. The highest and most expensive city in the US? You guessed it, New York City. Specifically, Manhattan.
I just this month signed on for another year of rent at our upper west side apartment. Huge by NY standards, yet half the size of our average-sized home in Oklahoma. And the cost of groceries. Good grief! Sticker shock still grips us as we search weekly "specials" for relatively decent prices. And yet, we're still glad to be here. God knows we didn't come to NYC to save money. But why did we come here? We still get that question a lot.
In the beginning, that question mainly came from our friends and family back in Oklahoma. It continues here, especially when New Yorkers discover we didn't come as a result of a job transfer. Most people come because they have to, or because they're looking to make a name for themselves as an artist of some kind: actors, writers, painters, etc. We came because God stirred our hearts for change. We didn't want to move, we felt compelled to move. There's a difference. Yet it's often hard to verbalize.
I recently listened to another of Dr. Tim Keller's lessons where, in speaking to church planters, he described how when one encounters God personally, the result is you go. Throughout scripture we see that when a person meets God--when one gets a new glimpse into the reality and person of God--the result is you can't just return to life as you know it. Some how, some way, you simply have to go and live out this new life, this new realization, you’ve received. For some it’s a new endeavor or a new job or ministry, but for others, it means you go. It’s hard to explain why at times. But you just have to go. And you hope they’ll understand, even support your going.
It’s at times like these that one’s life takes on a whole new meaning, and it’s exciting. It’s never easy to leave, not knowing what’s ahead or how you’ll go about things. I’m the kind of guy who never leaves home without a map. But for this sort of journey, one rarely is supplied an atlas or GPS. Now please don’t mistake me; I’m no Abraham or Moses, LOL. I’m just a guy who has been completely overwhelmed with a new realization of what Jesus’ work on the cross was all about, and it has completely overpowered my personal sense of reason. We left not really knowing what it was all about, except that we should go.
And go we did. We didn’t expect everyone to understand, and they haven’t. In fact, most still don’t. But it has been nice that along the way, every now and then, God has supplied us with just enough encouragement to keep us going. In fact, I just received one such bit of encouragement from a guy I didn’t even know, until now. I’ve pasted a part of his message below:
...As he told me about the drastic move your family had made there were some things that sounded a bit familiar to me. I decided to google your name and came across your blog...
Anyway, I just wanted to connect with you as a former SE OK guy who "gets" what you are doing. I am sure the decision was incredibly difficult for you and your family. And I'd also guess that folks didn't quite understand! All that to say, there is someone out there from your neck of the woods who is inspired and understands why. When we really grasp what God has done for us in Christ, it usually leads to these sorts of life-altering moves.
I hope you and your family are growing through this process.
Take care.
Take care.
I must say, I am only beginning to grasp what God has done for us in Christ. But I do know it has resulted in a much-altered life... and a life-altering move. And I know my family is growing through the process.
Thanks be to God, and to you, Greg, for getting it.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Sidewalk Sleeper
By Tim Knapp
As I sit in front of my computer by the window, I can see the abandoned cardboard mat in front of the building across the street, where a homeless guy has slept until around noon for the last two mornings. This is a little unusual for our upper west side neighborhood. Although I've seen and met several homeless people on the streets near our apartment, they don't usually hang out here. As I stared out the window at this man yesterday morning it occurred to me what a gulf there is between him and me.
I can't help but think what a contrast this city is to the place I've just recently come from. I wonder how friends or family would respond to this view of pathetic poverty, right outside our window. I watch as a mom and her young daughter swing wide to go around this guy, asleep and oblivious to all passers-by. What a lesson this little girl has gained without knowing it, just pushing her baby-doll stroller around this homeless man.
When you walk the streets here, you're forced to deal with this chasm between the haves and have nots. You're at least forced to view it. You're reminded again and again of its reality. And during more introspective moments--if you're honest--you realize that the gulf is not that wide. After all, was it my choice to be born into my family? Did I choose to have this ability to think or reason or make a buck?
Many of us have come to the conclusion--whether conscious or no--that I am to credit for the life I have. That it's the result of my good decisions and hard work. That I choose to be what I am. And what's more, if he would just choose to, he also could have more. That if he would just get up and get with it, he'd not be homeless either. We can't imagine being that aimless, that lazy, that unmotivated. Then we apply a similar reason to the other areas...how could she have that opinion, that affiliation, that view? And the chasm gets even wider.
Tim Keller recently stated, "It is in encountering others unlike us that we begin to see how the greatness of God's mercy can overcome our prejudices." I am beginning to understand what that statement means.
As I sit in front of my computer by the window, I can see the abandoned cardboard mat in front of the building across the street, where a homeless guy has slept until around noon for the last two mornings. This is a little unusual for our upper west side neighborhood. Although I've seen and met several homeless people on the streets near our apartment, they don't usually hang out here. As I stared out the window at this man yesterday morning it occurred to me what a gulf there is between him and me.
I can't help but think what a contrast this city is to the place I've just recently come from. I wonder how friends or family would respond to this view of pathetic poverty, right outside our window. I watch as a mom and her young daughter swing wide to go around this guy, asleep and oblivious to all passers-by. What a lesson this little girl has gained without knowing it, just pushing her baby-doll stroller around this homeless man.
When you walk the streets here, you're forced to deal with this chasm between the haves and have nots. You're at least forced to view it. You're reminded again and again of its reality. And during more introspective moments--if you're honest--you realize that the gulf is not that wide. After all, was it my choice to be born into my family? Did I choose to have this ability to think or reason or make a buck?
Many of us have come to the conclusion--whether conscious or no--that I am to credit for the life I have. That it's the result of my good decisions and hard work. That I choose to be what I am. And what's more, if he would just choose to, he also could have more. That if he would just get up and get with it, he'd not be homeless either. We can't imagine being that aimless, that lazy, that unmotivated. Then we apply a similar reason to the other areas...how could she have that opinion, that affiliation, that view? And the chasm gets even wider.
Tim Keller recently stated, "It is in encountering others unlike us that we begin to see how the greatness of God's mercy can overcome our prejudices." I am beginning to understand what that statement means.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
A New Lease
By Tim Knapp
If there's a drawback to having an extremely competitive background, it's that you're constantly putting a new goal, challenge, or project in front of you. It's not just who we are, it's what we do. It matters not whether one's ever stepped foot on a court or field of competition. We seek glory. We want affirmation, accolades, trophies, success. We want our lives to matter. Period.
It's interesting the ways God has of helping us realize what matters. At times he provides breakthroughs in thinking that change everything, and the entire direction of your life is altered. And for the better. One area I believe he longs to see us impacted with is our concept of grace.
God would not have us live under the oppression of duty, obligation, and indebtedness to our church, or to him. Nor would he have us hold the misguided idea of needing to "earn his favor". God has released us from the bondage of having to pay him back. I mean, how do you pay God back, anyway? Seriously. I understand feeling indebted. And we should. But imagine your son coming to you after his birthday party saying, "Dad, I'm going to spend the rest of my life paying you back for that BB gun." Or what if you overheard your friends, whom you've just treated to a nice steak dinner, mumbling to themselves..."Dang. Now we have to buy them steaks!" We'd be manipulative creatures indeed if the only reason we gave was to get. We all do this at times. But it's not God's way at all.
God doesn't coerce or manipulate. He sent his son to die not to gain followers, loyalty, or build his ego. He wouldn't have us do it either. Why do we behave as if paying him back is our duty? Or live as if our only purpose in life should be to please him. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for pleasing God; I just don't think it should have anything to do with why we do it. Do you want your kids to behave and be good in order to please you? Is it so they will look like good people? Is it so others will think they're quality kids? Of course not. We're guilty of parenting this way, but God isn't.
Though we still fail in loving as God does, we ought to follow his example of aiming for the heart--not the behavior. This so helps us understand how God operates. He doesn't need our loyalty and following. He desires it, but that's for our sake, not his. He is and was willing to go to radical extremes to win our hearts, but so we would be willing for him to use and transform us. We tell and we're told to be good, like it or not. Just serve and love until your feelings fall in line. Problem is, it's bad logic. This says...your feelings are secondary (they are), just act like (false pretense) you're good (which you're obviously not) until you feel like it (which is frustrating, 'cause you never do).
This faulty thinking causes our kids to play the game well, or outright rebel. It causes Christians to play the game well also. They look good, but on the inside something's really missing. Sooner or later we fly apart at the seams, or quit the church altogether, growing tired of the logic we feel is wrong to begin with. It makes leaders exhausted. It gets old trying to get people to do what they won't or can't do in the first place.
Embracing God's love and grace is liberating. God will not look me in the eye at the judgement day and say, "Is that all you have to offer...Is that all you did?!" It won't happen. It's NOT about what we can do for God...It's about what Jesus did for me. That's grace. And embracing it means getting off the treadmill of Christian work and duty, and basking in the reality of the cross and what it means for my past, present, and future. Wow.
It means I am more motivated than ever to love generously, give more, and work harder at being what Jesus alone made possible. This is what embracing grace does; it gets at our hearts and motivates us in a way that simply addressing behavior can never do. We drive people away by placing more demands, requirements, and duties on them than God does. The church shrinks, people don't want to come, and we wonder why. We end up frustrated and feeling like no one is as committed as we are.
It's this grace that gives us a new lease on life. It gives faith new meaning. It helps me understand and admit I can't be what I'm supposed to be; neither can those around me. It means I have faith that because I can't, Jesus did, and will do what I can't. It's the only way I will continue to flop and still have joy in the fact that I'm loved beyond belief. This drives me toward Jesus in a way that my dad's belt or my teacher's lectures never could, never will. This concept of grace does more than our old, oft-heard definition, "unmerited favor", ever could. It's this grace that enables us to believe and live as if the Gospel changes everything...because it does, when fully embraced.
If there's a drawback to having an extremely competitive background, it's that you're constantly putting a new goal, challenge, or project in front of you. It's not just who we are, it's what we do. It matters not whether one's ever stepped foot on a court or field of competition. We seek glory. We want affirmation, accolades, trophies, success. We want our lives to matter. Period.
It's interesting the ways God has of helping us realize what matters. At times he provides breakthroughs in thinking that change everything, and the entire direction of your life is altered. And for the better. One area I believe he longs to see us impacted with is our concept of grace.
God would not have us live under the oppression of duty, obligation, and indebtedness to our church, or to him. Nor would he have us hold the misguided idea of needing to "earn his favor". God has released us from the bondage of having to pay him back. I mean, how do you pay God back, anyway? Seriously. I understand feeling indebted. And we should. But imagine your son coming to you after his birthday party saying, "Dad, I'm going to spend the rest of my life paying you back for that BB gun." Or what if you overheard your friends, whom you've just treated to a nice steak dinner, mumbling to themselves..."Dang. Now we have to buy them steaks!" We'd be manipulative creatures indeed if the only reason we gave was to get. We all do this at times. But it's not God's way at all.
God doesn't coerce or manipulate. He sent his son to die not to gain followers, loyalty, or build his ego. He wouldn't have us do it either. Why do we behave as if paying him back is our duty? Or live as if our only purpose in life should be to please him. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for pleasing God; I just don't think it should have anything to do with why we do it. Do you want your kids to behave and be good in order to please you? Is it so they will look like good people? Is it so others will think they're quality kids? Of course not. We're guilty of parenting this way, but God isn't.
Though we still fail in loving as God does, we ought to follow his example of aiming for the heart--not the behavior. This so helps us understand how God operates. He doesn't need our loyalty and following. He desires it, but that's for our sake, not his. He is and was willing to go to radical extremes to win our hearts, but so we would be willing for him to use and transform us. We tell and we're told to be good, like it or not. Just serve and love until your feelings fall in line. Problem is, it's bad logic. This says...your feelings are secondary (they are), just act like (false pretense) you're good (which you're obviously not) until you feel like it (which is frustrating, 'cause you never do).
This faulty thinking causes our kids to play the game well, or outright rebel. It causes Christians to play the game well also. They look good, but on the inside something's really missing. Sooner or later we fly apart at the seams, or quit the church altogether, growing tired of the logic we feel is wrong to begin with. It makes leaders exhausted. It gets old trying to get people to do what they won't or can't do in the first place.
Embracing God's love and grace is liberating. God will not look me in the eye at the judgement day and say, "Is that all you have to offer...Is that all you did?!" It won't happen. It's NOT about what we can do for God...It's about what Jesus did for me. That's grace. And embracing it means getting off the treadmill of Christian work and duty, and basking in the reality of the cross and what it means for my past, present, and future. Wow.
It means I am more motivated than ever to love generously, give more, and work harder at being what Jesus alone made possible. This is what embracing grace does; it gets at our hearts and motivates us in a way that simply addressing behavior can never do. We drive people away by placing more demands, requirements, and duties on them than God does. The church shrinks, people don't want to come, and we wonder why. We end up frustrated and feeling like no one is as committed as we are.
It's this grace that gives us a new lease on life. It gives faith new meaning. It helps me understand and admit I can't be what I'm supposed to be; neither can those around me. It means I have faith that because I can't, Jesus did, and will do what I can't. It's the only way I will continue to flop and still have joy in the fact that I'm loved beyond belief. This drives me toward Jesus in a way that my dad's belt or my teacher's lectures never could, never will. This concept of grace does more than our old, oft-heard definition, "unmerited favor", ever could. It's this grace that enables us to believe and live as if the Gospel changes everything...because it does, when fully embraced.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
More Change
By Tim Knapp
Having just returned home from helping some great friends load up their belongings, I'm reminded of how ongoing change is. And how challenging change is. And how heartbreaking it can be. We've been told of how transient friendships can be here in the city...today we're reminded of that. So many come and go; things change, new directions, new turns.
Yet with all that change brings, I'm also reminded of how liberating and refreshing it can be. They say, the more things change, the more they stay the same. I'll need some time to wrap my head around that one. But I do think resisting change is a futile exercise. What person, what family, what church can keep change from occurring? How can we keep our kids home, when we raise and work to prepare them to enter a world awaiting them? How can we continue to do what we've always done, thinking what worked ten--no two--years ago will work tomorrow? Why do we hold onto the way things are, thinking life can continue as it always has? It won't. It can't.
If there's one thing for sure, it's that the world's a changin', so to speak. Nothing stays the same...except what we refuse to adjust, or what we hold on to, too tightly. Then they change. No longer effective, no longer useful. I've had to turn loose a few things lately. Some I was willing to see go; others were torn away. Change has a way of coming whether you want it or not. Question is, will we embrace it or resist?
I love change--good change, that is. Change is exciting, brings new stuff, new scenery, and new people. But today it brought pain as I said goodbye to a great friend moving eight states away. Sometimes you make a great friend in a few minutes; usually it takes a life time. But either way, it's hard to see them go. Same with a son, same with a dad. Yet even when it's painful, it can be freeing. Freeing because change that's embraced becomes change with meaning. And freeing because I know we're not bound to live useless lives that have no joy or purpose. I'm glad the one who loves us knows the plans he has for us. And these too are plans for change.
Having just returned home from helping some great friends load up their belongings, I'm reminded of how ongoing change is. And how challenging change is. And how heartbreaking it can be. We've been told of how transient friendships can be here in the city...today we're reminded of that. So many come and go; things change, new directions, new turns.
Yet with all that change brings, I'm also reminded of how liberating and refreshing it can be. They say, the more things change, the more they stay the same. I'll need some time to wrap my head around that one. But I do think resisting change is a futile exercise. What person, what family, what church can keep change from occurring? How can we keep our kids home, when we raise and work to prepare them to enter a world awaiting them? How can we continue to do what we've always done, thinking what worked ten--no two--years ago will work tomorrow? Why do we hold onto the way things are, thinking life can continue as it always has? It won't. It can't.
If there's one thing for sure, it's that the world's a changin', so to speak. Nothing stays the same...except what we refuse to adjust, or what we hold on to, too tightly. Then they change. No longer effective, no longer useful. I've had to turn loose a few things lately. Some I was willing to see go; others were torn away. Change has a way of coming whether you want it or not. Question is, will we embrace it or resist?
I love change--good change, that is. Change is exciting, brings new stuff, new scenery, and new people. But today it brought pain as I said goodbye to a great friend moving eight states away. Sometimes you make a great friend in a few minutes; usually it takes a life time. But either way, it's hard to see them go. Same with a son, same with a dad. Yet even when it's painful, it can be freeing. Freeing because change that's embraced becomes change with meaning. And freeing because I know we're not bound to live useless lives that have no joy or purpose. I'm glad the one who loves us knows the plans he has for us. And these too are plans for change.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
One Month In
By Tim Knapp
As I sit here alone in the apartment this beautiful Sunday morning, my head is buzzing with all that's happened with us this last month. We're fairly settled into our new surroundings, but not completely adjusted, by any means. We've been here long enough to have figured a lot of things out, but we still have many questions and things to work out.
It has been awhile since we've posted, so to keep you up to date, we are doing well. We've had a great month here...and Holy Week was incredibly meaningful to us this year. Our Passover meal and celebration with friends were more moving than ever. We've attended some great classes and have heard some amazing teaching on church history and missions, the Gospel accounts of the resurrection, a study of Genesis, and through several sermons on the Suffering Servant. We attended a fantastic performance by Max McClean reciting the book of Mark, along with the Well--a Friday night prayer and worship service that we've particularly gained so much from. It's incredible what comes through joining with 75 or so others from 10pm 'til midnight on a Friday night to simply pray and worship! We miss so much by not carving out those times when we actually live out our belief that God hears and answers our prayers for our lost friends, our church, and our city/community.
I personally have had so many encounters, visits, and conversations with people--many of whom were homeless, and others who have simply been eager to talk about their lives, beliefs, or struggles. And even more who were just intrigued as to why we would move from Oklahoma to New York City. It's interesting how puzzling that is to people who live here. Funny that it's as odd to a New Yorker as it is to Okies! Strangers and Christian friends alike are still asking us why...and basically look at us in disbelief as we try to explain.
But it has been so refreshing to meet a number of folks who have done the same as us. At a church leaders' event we were invited to attend last week, we had a few conversations with people who had similar stories. We've been encouraged to find that God has been doing this sort of thing for a number of years in NYC. One couple who are extremely active in church planting here stated they believe it's in response to the Christian community's prayers for God to send Christians to the city; an intensive prayer movement that began immediately following the twin towers terrorist attack. As so many began to move out and leave the perceived dangers of living in a target city, the church called for Christians to cry out for God to send Christians; that the city would be impacted by people who come here expressly to live for the city.
Our prayer is that we would do just that; to live for the city in such a way that God uses us in His process of renewing New York, which He is. But make no mistake; we are not God's gift to this city--this city is God's gift to us. Here we feel incredible purpose and reason to engage a largely unChristian population; a people who are extremely open to spiritual insight. And there are many who are either so tired from the demands of urban living and striving, or who are simply looking for a real reason to live. We see a need to not just provide a meal or two for one who's hungry, but to provide hope for him. It's a frustrating thing to hand out a dollar or two, or even a meal, knowing it's not enough. There's a huge need for people willing to serve food and an even larger need for resources which can provide opportunities on an ongoing basis for those who have absolutely nothing and no one.
But there are many, many more who simply need to see the Gospel lived out in day to day coming and going. And not just here, even there where you are. People so need to see people who are willing to allow Jesus to do what He came to do, in their lives first. If we, who supposedly have Jesus, would realize our standing with Him...and what lengths he went to in order to pull that off, then we might begin to understand not only how much He loves us, but them. Living among such diversity, and among so many who believe differently, has such an unusual way of reminding you how similar we are. Until you've rubbed shoulders with a really decent, personable guy who's gay...or with a filthy, smelly man who hates being homeless and just wants a safe place to get some rest and a warm meal...or a really liberal woman who's incredibly giving and considerate...then perhaps you can maintain your feelings of superiority over all those you feel are so different from you. But the truth is, there are a lot of really good people out there who just don't get it...just like me. As long as I feel in any way the least bit responsible for my good choices and standing with Jesus, I continue to feel superior to them...and unmoved by their plight, misfortune, or problems.
I really want to make a difference, but more than that, I want to be different. Different without the worry--or the pride--of standing out. Without the worry of what those around me think about the way I look, the way I sound, or how much or little education I have. I want for me and my kids to live as if our security actually does rest in Jesus, what He's done for us, and how He sees us. These are issues we face. These are the things that really do affect us day to day. Whether I'm among friends who have less, or among friends who have more, my attitude is challenged to feel neither superior or inferior. To feel neither more or less deserving; better nor worse.
As I ask for your prayers that God will indeed strategically place in the work and life He's brought us here for, I'm confident that He will do just that. It doesn't remove, however, my need to know what's next...my ongoing desire to have the answers to the questions that keep swarming in my head. Meanwhile, we'll continue to wrestle with the same things you all do: how to keep focused on what matters, like how to carve out time alone with my wife, or how to get at my daughters' hearts without constantly addressing their actions and behavior, or how to give more without feeling that's all that's required, or even how to make a living without being so caught up in the daily grind of making money.
That being said, we do feel incredibly blessed and privileged to be living here, and hope you'll keep us in your prayers, and stay in touch.
Good Sabbath!
As I sit here alone in the apartment this beautiful Sunday morning, my head is buzzing with all that's happened with us this last month. We're fairly settled into our new surroundings, but not completely adjusted, by any means. We've been here long enough to have figured a lot of things out, but we still have many questions and things to work out.
It has been awhile since we've posted, so to keep you up to date, we are doing well. We've had a great month here...and Holy Week was incredibly meaningful to us this year. Our Passover meal and celebration with friends were more moving than ever. We've attended some great classes and have heard some amazing teaching on church history and missions, the Gospel accounts of the resurrection, a study of Genesis, and through several sermons on the Suffering Servant. We attended a fantastic performance by Max McClean reciting the book of Mark, along with the Well--a Friday night prayer and worship service that we've particularly gained so much from. It's incredible what comes through joining with 75 or so others from 10pm 'til midnight on a Friday night to simply pray and worship! We miss so much by not carving out those times when we actually live out our belief that God hears and answers our prayers for our lost friends, our church, and our city/community.
I personally have had so many encounters, visits, and conversations with people--many of whom were homeless, and others who have simply been eager to talk about their lives, beliefs, or struggles. And even more who were just intrigued as to why we would move from Oklahoma to New York City. It's interesting how puzzling that is to people who live here. Funny that it's as odd to a New Yorker as it is to Okies! Strangers and Christian friends alike are still asking us why...and basically look at us in disbelief as we try to explain.
But it has been so refreshing to meet a number of folks who have done the same as us. At a church leaders' event we were invited to attend last week, we had a few conversations with people who had similar stories. We've been encouraged to find that God has been doing this sort of thing for a number of years in NYC. One couple who are extremely active in church planting here stated they believe it's in response to the Christian community's prayers for God to send Christians to the city; an intensive prayer movement that began immediately following the twin towers terrorist attack. As so many began to move out and leave the perceived dangers of living in a target city, the church called for Christians to cry out for God to send Christians; that the city would be impacted by people who come here expressly to live for the city.
Our prayer is that we would do just that; to live for the city in such a way that God uses us in His process of renewing New York, which He is. But make no mistake; we are not God's gift to this city--this city is God's gift to us. Here we feel incredible purpose and reason to engage a largely unChristian population; a people who are extremely open to spiritual insight. And there are many who are either so tired from the demands of urban living and striving, or who are simply looking for a real reason to live. We see a need to not just provide a meal or two for one who's hungry, but to provide hope for him. It's a frustrating thing to hand out a dollar or two, or even a meal, knowing it's not enough. There's a huge need for people willing to serve food and an even larger need for resources which can provide opportunities on an ongoing basis for those who have absolutely nothing and no one.
But there are many, many more who simply need to see the Gospel lived out in day to day coming and going. And not just here, even there where you are. People so need to see people who are willing to allow Jesus to do what He came to do, in their lives first. If we, who supposedly have Jesus, would realize our standing with Him...and what lengths he went to in order to pull that off, then we might begin to understand not only how much He loves us, but them. Living among such diversity, and among so many who believe differently, has such an unusual way of reminding you how similar we are. Until you've rubbed shoulders with a really decent, personable guy who's gay...or with a filthy, smelly man who hates being homeless and just wants a safe place to get some rest and a warm meal...or a really liberal woman who's incredibly giving and considerate...then perhaps you can maintain your feelings of superiority over all those you feel are so different from you. But the truth is, there are a lot of really good people out there who just don't get it...just like me. As long as I feel in any way the least bit responsible for my good choices and standing with Jesus, I continue to feel superior to them...and unmoved by their plight, misfortune, or problems.
I really want to make a difference, but more than that, I want to be different. Different without the worry--or the pride--of standing out. Without the worry of what those around me think about the way I look, the way I sound, or how much or little education I have. I want for me and my kids to live as if our security actually does rest in Jesus, what He's done for us, and how He sees us. These are issues we face. These are the things that really do affect us day to day. Whether I'm among friends who have less, or among friends who have more, my attitude is challenged to feel neither superior or inferior. To feel neither more or less deserving; better nor worse.
As I ask for your prayers that God will indeed strategically place in the work and life He's brought us here for, I'm confident that He will do just that. It doesn't remove, however, my need to know what's next...my ongoing desire to have the answers to the questions that keep swarming in my head. Meanwhile, we'll continue to wrestle with the same things you all do: how to keep focused on what matters, like how to carve out time alone with my wife, or how to get at my daughters' hearts without constantly addressing their actions and behavior, or how to give more without feeling that's all that's required, or even how to make a living without being so caught up in the daily grind of making money.
That being said, we do feel incredibly blessed and privileged to be living here, and hope you'll keep us in your prayers, and stay in touch.
Good Sabbath!
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